no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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