update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
