Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
No subtext here. People are naked.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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