i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize