I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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