Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
3 2 1 whiskey
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
