I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
