What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize