You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize