the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
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Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
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Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I have tasted many bathrooms
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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