This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
