i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
