I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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