I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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