i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
