Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
