Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
