Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
