i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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