His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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