Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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