I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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