like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
