what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
