i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
