so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
