If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Shame - the story of my life.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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