Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
