I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
