I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize