and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
worst night to have a conscience
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
