Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have fence marks all over my body
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
