she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
