my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
