Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
