Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
