Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
