i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
