Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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