No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
