Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
