I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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