I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
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Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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