Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
