this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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