I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
