I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
