What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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