did you get engaged???
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
there is puke in my bra ... again
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