My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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