I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
