So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
