he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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