some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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