I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
