No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
