Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
