She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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