operation have a gay friend backfired
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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