The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
