Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
