I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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