There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
