Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
