Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I AM VODKA MAN
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
